Thursday, April 8, 2010

Tumblr

I have a Tumblr now.
After considering deleting this blog, I decided to keep it up just for grins, BUT from now on I will mostly be updating on the Tumblr blog.
I might have something on here, once or twice. Maaaybe, but only because I actually have followers now (Only five, but that's better than nothing.)

http://-twobuttoneyes.tumblr.com/

Anyway.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

I caught a lizard, and you didn't!

Or maybe you did. How am I supposed to know?
Anyway, in the ordinary course of walking home from school today, I saw something in the shade of a Dumpster in the parking lot. Was it a twig? A rock? A piece of trash?
No. It was, ladies and gentlemen, a LIZARD.
Not only was it a tiny reptile, but it was a tiny reptile with tiny aqua-blue spots on its back! I almost died with excitement. Working swiftly and silently, I unzipped my backpack, took out my dorky Tupperware lunchbox thing, (this, below, if you don't know what I'm talking about)
... removed the lid, and held it trembling above the creature's unsuspecting body. I cooed softly to the critter and reassured him that I just wanted to be BFFs, that I wasn't trying to kill him, you're cool, just stay still, little buddy, okay... then I happened to glance up, and saw this guy in my history class, who was walking past the Dumpster. We made eye contact for one uncomfortable second, then he kept walking. Awkward.
I didn't want to risk being seen chitchatting with a lizard by anyone else, so I snapped down the container, which commenced a great grand flurry of wriggling and scrabbling by the lizard. Then I had a grand time trying to get the lid back on the container without the creature leaping out and attacking me, and without sealing the lid so that it wouldn't be able to breathe. I ran all the way home, holding the lid so that it was hovering precariously an inch off the container. The lizard could breathe easily with the air I was allowing in, but it could also hop right out of the container and land on my face.
See, that's why I was running.
I did get it home though, and fashioned a quick terrarium out of a plastic box, tape, and some plastic wrap with holes poked in the top. I call him Charybdis, and he is my best friend forever.
At least, until I find a way to play an April Fool's prank using him, and then set him free again. I'm thinking I'll put him in my sister's backpack, but maybe that's too gross.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

This is a title



Today was a day of indulgences. I went for a really long walk this morning because my dad had checked the online grade-checker thing, which shows every grade that you receive on every assignment for the year, and had seen that I'd sort of gotten a little bit of a C on a math test, which is much lower than I usually score.
Dad: "Jen, you got a C on... "chapter nine assessment?" Is that something you need help with?
Me: ...
...
...idk.
And then I left to avoid an interrogation. I am a coward.
But anyway, I stopped in at the grocery store near my house before heading for the creek for an Odwalla, which is probably what God drinks every day, which is the modern-day ambrosia and nectar, which I worship, therefore I can excuse its ridiculous price range. (The pomegranate ones sometimes cost over four dollars.) Anyway, for some reason they weren't selling the regular sized bottles, instead only offering the slightly larger size.
Darn.
After a few hours of walking, I returned home, hoping my father had gotten distracted by something else. Sure enough, he had: after our dishwasher flooded, he has spent several weekends remodeling the water-damaged bathroom that is adjacent to the laundry room. He painted it the same yellowish color of raw polenta, then furnished with white. Going in there sort of feels like walking into a hard-boiled egg. Not pleasant.
Anyway, he was painting when I arrived. I stuck my head into the bathroom and asked if he was ready for our weekend-ly run. That kept his mind off of the C for another hour. Then I dashed out to the grocery store again to buy pine nuts and cheese; I was planning to make Greek pizzas for dinner. While I was there, I saw a little tub of ginger ice cream that was so pretty and cute and classy-sounding (oh, I think I'll just treat myself to some ginger ice cream) that I had to get it.
It was faboo, by the way. Superb. I just ate my first scoop for dessert and it was possibly the most marvelous ice cream that I have ever tasted, ever.
Well, that wasn't much, but that's all I have to say . I really just wanted to have a post up that actually wasn't a survey.


(That picture at the top is of a random collage, by the way. I have been spending quite a bit of time creating random collages to put on my binders.)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Are all these surveys boring you? Sorry. This one is kind of boring.

The Way I like to Say Hello:
Generally, "hello."

Once Upon A Time...(finish the sentence):
...is no way to begin this story.

When I was five my favorite item was:
I do not even remember.

What I like between two pieces of bread best is:
Cucumbers and guacamole.

When I grow up I want to be a/an:
Book editor.

I like:
Words, running, Community, blogging, my cat.

I really, really want:
A perfect life. Who doesn't?

I desperately need:
A life.

If I could color my hair any color I would color it:
I don't think I would. My hair color is fine.

People often call me:
Weird.

I'm terrified of:
Tapeworms and failure.

The Way I like To Say Goodbye:
"Bye."

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

She is addicted to surveys.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Ah, swimming in the ocean in Sorrento. :)
That is probably the most glamorous scar I have received.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Nothing at all.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
I used to grind my teeth soooo bad... but now I just lie silently unconscious.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Hmmm, you should know by now.
A FINE FRENZY!

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
What? How would I know that?

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
I want fruit salad and a really long nap. Why am I blogging instead of napping? Because I am dedicated to you, readers!

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Several people.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
Hmm,

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5 feet and two inches.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Uh-uh not at all.
Well not in small spaces. But when I'm surrounded by a bunch of people, definitely.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
No.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Well, couldn't say.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Failing at life in general: you know, getting bad grades, dropping out of high school, having to take a nasty job at a greasy hamburger joint, scraping together tips to pay for rent in a slimeball apartment with the urine of various bums soaking the door... and so on.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE GENDER?
Oh my, blond hair is nice. :)
But of course it doesn't matter. I have no hormones.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
I'm never getting married, fool.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Ew ew ew, energy drinks. Why did you even mention those disgusting concoctions?
Coffee fosho.

(Fosho? I never say that!)

FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Olives, yummeh!

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Fruit salad.
Wait, didn't I already say this?

*is too lazy to scroll up*

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Maroon.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
Cracker goldfish? Or fish goldfish?
^Yes..........................^No

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
Meaningful, eh?
I guess... life.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
Pass.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
I wish.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Forever 21, miss.

25. FAVORITE ANIMAL?
Mice.

26. LIKE TO SING?
I hate singing.
Except when no one is around. Then I love to sing.

27. FAVORITE MOVIE?
All things Pixar make my world go 'round.

28. GAY, STRAIGHT OR BI?
Straight.

29. HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Mildly sick. Wildly ick.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
Seventy-three.

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes, I guess, because I'm closer to a brunette.

32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
Oh my, don't even ask that. I have a zillion.

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
Oh, the creek. Lovely place.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
YYEESSS. :D

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Hmmm. Being accused of things, getting close to people, and being cool.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Never.

37. FIRST JOB?
Nope.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Not of my own accord.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
No way.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Homework.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
No, but it's possible that I get to have a big metal rod implanted in my back next year. Oh, the joys of scoliosis.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My writing, I suppose, and being "really sweet to everybody."

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Not on my teeth.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
All I want for my birthday is you-u-u-u!

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?
No kids. Fifty cats.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My middle name is my grandma's name. Exciting, isn't it?

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Obnoxiousness. (Wow, I spelled that right?)

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
This hilarious quote that is written on one of the stalls of the girl's bathroom. I always make sure I get to use that stall so I can have a good laugh while I pee.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Omg have you even seen my handwriting?

(The answer is no, by the way...)

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Vegetarian.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Overthinking.

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
No.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Absolutely not.

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
No.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Unfortunately.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
*is a bottle-upper*

58.WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS.
Lose, of course. Then I could just eat incessantly until I was back to my fat self.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
This nasty mouse that I made stupid little vests for, and I pretended he was a pastry chef, too. His pastries were plastic beads, and his oven was my wallet.
Don't even ask.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
As if I am going to go count.

62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
I don't even remember. I didn't watch much television, so probably not.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Of course.

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
UMBOTHPLEASE.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
I don't look for things.
(Major cop-out.)

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Russell.

67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
Flyyyyyying.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Chopped on Food Network.

69.WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
I don't have enemies! How dare you!

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
The kind where it's vanilla with berry flavored "ripples" or whatever running through it.

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Why, yes.

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
Unfortunately not.

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
It's a school night, buster.

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
Either a little run-down hut by the sea in Monterey, or a musty-smelling retirement home where everybody knows each other's names.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Who?

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
My cousin's mindless blabbering.

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Iced tea.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
I really don't know.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
The whole thing, actually. I'm not going to say, "Oh, their eyes," like you're expecting. I notice everything at once, not just about the opposite sex but about people in general.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Blog.

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Stuff that I don't have to feel bad about hating, like really, really hot days.

82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
Summer, of course. Have you forgotten that I'm fourteen?

83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
Dried blueberries covered in chocolate and then covered in soft candy coating!!! Yay!!!

HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
No.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Brown.

86. EYE COLOR?
Green in fluorescent light, yellow and green in sunlight. (Yes, yellow eyes really are as gross as they sound.)

87. SHOE SIZE?
Honestly, I am not entirely sure

88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Ew. Do not even talk to me about fast food, because I will launch into an annoying, strung-out, "Do you even know what goes into McDonald's meat... how they treat the chickens at slaughterhouses... etc...?"

89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Nope.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
The sickly smell never fails to put me off when I feel like trying it. It seems sexy, though. I'm sure I would be a much more graceful and competent person in general if I liked sushi.

91. WATCH TV TODAY?
No.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
I suppose my birthday? People are generally nice to me, but it's not as big of a honkin' deal as Christmas or whatever.

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
No.

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
I am fourteen.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Hugs.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Neither for me, thanks.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Two tins of Altoids.

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
Well, maybe.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Homer's Odyssey, very very abridged version. (My cat is still enjoying it, I believe. I've been reading it aloud to him every day.)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Please.

Formspring me.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Just a couple things

Hello, America. First, just a couple of things I wanted to show you:IT IS THE REAL-LIFE RUSSELL. I WANT TO MARRY THIS KID, AND I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW.


Oh, I have major skills if this is true. I have been tripping so much lately, it's just crazy. Sorry if you were one of the people who I crashed into/almost crashed into/grabbed suddenly for support to avoid crashing into you these past few weeks.
It's a mystery.

Anyway, do you guys remember that half-broken laptop that I have in my room, the one where the only thing that worked was the Appleworks, and then Appleworks broke so it was just sitting there useless?
Yeah, I don't know if I have mentioned this yet, but it has un-broken itself, somehow. I restarted it for the millionth time in an attempt to fix it, and voila, I guess it got tired of being broken, and it worked again.
So now I have resumed my great American novel (ha ha ha ha ha ha NOT) and perhaps will be spending a bit less time blogging.
NOT TO SAY that I am going to give up on it. I deeply apologize for considering it... twice. And for still considering it, a little bit.
I mean, it's just that I really have nothing to say. Oh and that reminds me, *clumsily drops to knees, awkwardly readjusts backbrace to make this position possible, bows head, and presses palms together* there is at least one person who reads my blog often, out of my grand total of four followers. Please, kind sir or mistress, will you leave a comment on a post or in the cbox? I used to get comments every once in a while and I would pee my pants with happiness. It would make my entire day worthwhile. My entire life.
I guess, when my blog started sucking, and I cannot quite pinpoint when that happened, (except for that I think I can, but the reason is so pathetic that I am not even going to say it) people stopped leaving warm fuzzies for me.
Cry, cry, cry.

Oh gosh, do you know what I hate more than anything in the world?
Okay, not more than anything in the world. But it is pretty gosh-darn annoying, and gross. Are you tired of buildup and just want to hear what it is now?
When milk goes bad. Blech, blech. I never notice when it's in the jug, so I just pour it out like normal. And when it hasn't gone super-bad, just a little sour, but it's not chunky yet, you don't even know it until you taste it/smell it. Well, today I was making a mushroom sauce that called for milk, so I dumped the milk over my pan of already seasoned and cooked mushrooms and caramelized onions that were the perfect golden color and everything smelled delicious, but then after I poured the milk over it all I noticed this terrible smell. Like, really, really awful. It was the milk.
I had just poured spoiled milk over my lovely onions and mushrooms, so now the entire panful of food was useless. I wanted to slap myself, but my mom did that for me. Ha-ha, just kidding. But that was an enormous waste, and I had to eat my dinner of tofu with boring old soy sauce from a bottle instead of creamy fresh homemade mushroom sauce.
Cry, cry, cry.

Do I have anything to talk about that doesn't make me cry? Yes, I do. Several happy things happened today.
  • I got to open a brand-new box of fabric softener sheets, and used three of them in my laundry.
  • And then I wore a pair of sweatpants right out of the dryer, and my legs were so warm and yummy-feeling for the five minutes that the warmth lasted.
  • I brushed the extra hair off of my cat today, and then made a little mustache out of the loose fur. (WhyamIsoincrediblycool?)
  • I hit a triple at my softball game today, and then my coach let me play first base for two innings.
  • My sister let me hug her.
  • I painted the fingernails on my left hand turquoise, and the fingernails on my right hand pearly pink.
  • I stubbed my toe, but for some reason it didn't hurt.
  • I read the Odyssey out loud to my cat. He enjoyed it, I think. Well, I did, at least.
Oh, to end things on a happy note~~

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I guess this post is mostly about cooking, so I'm going to put that as the title.


Remember how I was saying that nobody reads this blog anymore?
Scraaatch that. I got a new vote on the poll, and a vote for "Almost every time I'm online," nonetheless! I just wonder who it is.
-random subject change-
Can you even conceive how much baking I have had to do this past year? Birthdays, potlucks, clubs, et cetera. Freshman year has been a flurry of flour and butter and eggs. I just finished making a double batch of chocolate muffins, one batch for my friend's birthday and another batch for a "chocolate potluck" that my community service club is having.
Sigh. I love baking. But I could probably fund the construction of a school in a developing country with the money I have wasted on cocoa, sugar, vanilla, and whatnot.
I remember that I had something to say when I logged in to my blog account. I just need to sit here and think for a minute. I bet it was really, really important, and that's why I forget it.
Hmmm. After seventeen minutes of sitting here concentrating so hard that I think my brain might explode any minute now, I STILL DON'T REMEMBER. *frustration*
-another random subject change-
Guess what we have to do for Spanish? Instead of being a normal teacher and giving us a test at the end of the chapter, my super-duper extra-fun-and-interesting teacher is making us cook Hispanic food in front of the whole class.
How does this replace a test at all? Do not even ask me. How are we proving that we've learned our chapter ten Spanish by dicing onions and squeezing limes? I have no idea. But now I have to make gazpacho soup while the rest of the class looks on in boredom. Yay.

*is still unable to remember what she was going to say*

*awkward silence*

Uhh. How about a survey now?

When someone says "we need to talk," what runs through your mind?
I don't think anybody has ever used that phrase on me, because I'm not one to get too involved with other people.

What’s the last movie you watched? With who?
"Legally Blond" with my cat because I'm a loser with no family or friends to watch movies with.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
I never want to punch anybody in the face. Except extremely annoying people.

Do you know anyone who always looks perfect?
Yes.

Two wrongs don't make a right, Correct?
Correct, sir.

Do you think relationships are hard?
I wouldn't know.

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn't around now?
Yes.

Can money buy happiness?
Technically, yes, but then again, technically no.

What do you hear right now?
"Near to You" by A Fine Frenzy, my fingers tapping on the keyboard, my mom screaming at my sister, the dishwasher running, and my own disgusting snuffling.

If you had a tree that could grow anything you want, what would it grow?
Money, of course.

Do you know anyone who's been in jail?
Yes. Hello, high school.

What is your favorite color?
Maroon.

Do you have a lighter on you?
Hah, no.

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?
I suppose so.
Oh gosh, I guess I technically have. Yes.

Have you ever sat in the back of a police car?
No.

Would you say you’re emotionally strong?
Yes, except you would never know it if you knew me.

What’s worse, ignorance or stupidity?
Stupidity.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t smoke pot?
Yes. ME.

Think, what do you want more than anything?
A perfect life, of course. Endless money, a lover, an awesome job, a beautiful house in the mountains or in the middle of the sea, good looks, a wonderful personality, fifty cats, perfect health, etc.

Would you rather have long or short hair?
Long.

Do you follow your head or your heart?
My head, always.

Do you ever get so frustrated that you just wanna cry?
I don't cry when I'm frustrated.

After taking a shower, do you change in the bathroom or in your bedroom?
The bathroom. My house is a freaking industrial meat freezer, not just in the morning but all the time. (Hence my habit of putting on my robe as soon as I step in the front door.) I like to stay in the steamy warmth as long as possible.

Which would you rather, grow old with somebody or alone?
Alone.

Your lost in the middle of nowhere, without a phone to call for help, What would you do?
I would spin around and around in circles until I got so dizzy I fell down, and then try to go to sleep and not wake up, ever.

What's your middle name?
Jean

Have you ever given up on someone but then went back to them?
Like this blog? Yes.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Not even close.

Have you ever dated two people at once?
I’ve never dated anyone. So no.

Who was the last person to piss you off?
My Spanish teacher. LOL, not really. Uhm, I think it was my sister.

Are you Asian?
No. I declare this the random-est and most pointless question on this entire survey.

Are you happy right now?
I am neutral.

What age do you want to get married?
Never.

What's a line from the song you're listening to?
"Something's causing fear to fly, rising like a dark knight in silence." (Last of Days, A Fine Frenzy.)

Are you a bad influence?
It depends on what kind of bad influence you mean.

Do you get jealous easily?
No.

Is it usually easy for someone to make you smile?
Yes, because certain things strike me as amusing even when other people don't think anything is funny at all, and they give me little furtive sideways glances when I start laughing in the middle of a conversation.
It is colossally inconvenient.

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
It's a possibility.

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?
Yes.

What color's your shirt?
Off-white.

Do you like to be tickled?
Ugh, no. It is absolute torture, and I am not even kidding you right now.

Are you dying to take off your clothes?
IT IS FREEZING, BUDDY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Do you care too much/not at all/just enough?
Too much.

Have you ever kissed someone with the same first initial as you?
LOL NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT YES but it's not what you think.

Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Wow. I really don't know.
Does my cat count?

What should we do w/ stupid people?
Feed them to sharks.

What was the first thing you did this morning?
I woke up.
Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, not what you were looking for.
Uh, I folded up my quilt and stuffed it under my bed.

Are you spoiled?
No.

How do you vent your anger?
I don't vent. I bottle.
That makes some people think that I am never angry, including my parents.

Would you ever join the military?
No. I am far too wimpy.

The last website you visited?
The blog where I found this survey.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Micheal, who you don't know, so I don't know why you care.

Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
Forward! Leave the past behind! Let's get on with this nonsense called life!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

It's between afternoon and evening. Hmm.

Borrowed another survey-ish thing from Once Upon A Time.

If I were a month, I'd be November
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Sunday
If I were a time of day, I'd be the moment you wake up
If I were planet, I'd be Pluto
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a jellyfish
If I were a direction, I'd be east
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a shelf
If I were a liquid, I'd be vinegar
If I were a gemstone, I'd be fake
If I were a tree, I'd be a willow
If I were a tool, I'd be a little screw
If I were a flower, I'd be a magnolia
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be a sprinkling snow
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a lyre
If I were a color, I'd be white
If I were an emotion, I'd be neutral
If I were a fruit, I'd be a pear
If I were a sound, I'd be whispering leaves
If I were an element, I'd be one of those ones at the bottom that aren't real elements yet
If I were a car, I'd be a something rusty and slow
If I were a food, I'd be a cube of tofu
If I were a were a place, I'd be the sea
If I were a material, I'd be off-white silk
If I were a taste, I'd be cupcake frosting
If I were a scent, I'd be vanilla and cinnamon
If I were an animal, I'd be a chickadee or a mouse
If I were an object, I'd be a magnifying glass
If I were a body part, I'd be an eye
If I were a facial expression, I'd be a vacant stare
If I were a song, I'd be 'The Minnow and the Trout'
If I were a pair of shoes, I'd be tall boots with buckles


This was so much fun!

Anyway, I sort of re-did my bedroom. More like un-did it, actually. I was beginning to notice how there was so much clutter pressing in on all sides of me that it was almost claustrophobia-inducing. And since I have the opposite of claustrophobia, this should have been lovely for me, but it really was not. I like things to be nice and neat, but you'd never know it by looking at my room.
So I took action.
I cleared all the crap off of my shelves and filled an enormous garbage bag with all sorts of things that I have but never use. Some of it, like the books and stuffed animals, can be given to Goodwill, but the wiffle balls, stacks of pictures cut from magazines, bits of chain, and bottles with only a droplet of lotion left in the bottom that I couldn't bear to throw away because they smell so good? Trash. And everything else was stuffed onto the top shelves of my closet or into my set of drawers.
I ended up with a fairly bare room. Some things, though, I couldn't hide: my shoes, my books, my guitar, and this enormous stuffed tiger that I am never going to throw or give away, no way. I chose to leave out my jewelry box and lotion/perfume/room spray/stuff I use every day.
A couple of days later I saw this picture on a blog...
... and decided to do something like it. I made "clouds" out of cotton instead of tissue paper and hung them from white nylon above my bed. I used to have little paper lanterns above my window, I took off the paper lantern part so that it was just a string of white lights and set it along the windowsill. Now my bed looks like this before I go to sleep:(Those two random blotches on the wall are hooks from my bulletin board. I have yet to take them down and fill the holes with putty.)
I don't have any more pictures of my room, sorry...
But who am I apologizing to? Nobody reads this blog. It's just a lonely forgotten corner of cyberspace. Sad. Remember when I thought I was going to stop?
(Should have.)
Anyway, I might keep doing a "blog," but not publish anything. That way I won't have to reread anything to make sure it's acceptable to show the world, and besides, there isn't much of a point of showing the world something if they aren't going to look at it.
I don't mean to sound pessimistic. It's just true. And I have started that other blog that I said I was going to start, so I can keep publishing on that one and delete this one.
I don't know. We'll see.

If you read this, I love you~~

Friday, March 5, 2010

I wonder

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

What's wrong. What are you doing. What is my purpose. What is a rooster?


You know what's weird? When somebody tells you something, and you say "What?" even if you heard them perfectly fine. I do this to other people all the time without even thinking about it. It's like I need an extra second to respond, or something.
And other people do it too. When I'm talking to somebody and I ask them a question whose answer will make absolutely no difference at all on my life or anybody else's in the universe, and they say, "What?" I usually just say "Never mind." And then they answer me. And I wonder why they didn't just answer in the first place. And then I remember that I do the exact same thing to others.
In books and movies and whatnot, the characters always hear each other perfectly. During long dialogues between people, there is never a "What?" In real life, people are going, "What?" every few minutes. Listen to your conversations. It happens so often. So often we don't even notice it anymore. But in books and movies it happens so rarely that we don't even notice how unrealistic it is for two apparently modern-day teens to have a conversation that lasts the front and back of a page without once saying "What?"
It's kind of handy for me, though. Whenever I try to explain something more complicated than how to work a toaster, I start making all these analogies to totally unrelated things, and detail far too much, and wave my fingers around in front of me thinking maybe they will stir up the words and rearrange them into a commentary that actually makes sense.
And then people say, "What?" Even if they heard me. Even if I --gasp!-- made sense. It's a reflex, and I can always brush away my insanity with a "Never mind."
It's just odd. An oddity.
I was only thinking about it because I noticed it happening about a million times today.

Speaking of talking, I found this wonderful Stephen King quote today. About a minute ago, actually. It reminds me of something I was talking about on here earlier.Mucho love~~

Friday, February 26, 2010

Look this up: Nudiustertian

1.
Changed my profile picture from the random shot of a chocolate bar that I stuck in there when first starting this blog over a year ago to one that I took while in Monterey.

2.
I am thinking about starting another blog, but very different from this one. Sometimes I get really angry or sad about something, and a stream of poetry and prose flows out of my imagination. The little word-bundles are very nice really, but too dramatic and stupid to post here where people who know me in real life can see it. So if you stumble across a blog that maybe uses some pictures you've seen here, or uses language that sounds like me, maybe it is me, indeed.

3.
I saw 500 Days of Summer the other day. Well, half of it. I walked in while my sister was watching it for the billionth time. She'd offered to watch it
with me before, but I'd always said no. Why? When I asked what it was about, I got something along the lines of
Sister: "OMG IT'S THE CUTEST THING EVER THIS GUY M
EETS THIS GIRL NAMED SUMMER AND THEY'RE LIKE IN LOVE BUT NOT REALLY BUT THEY SPEND 500 DAYS TOGETHER AND IT'S SUPER SWEET I LOVE IT."
Me: "Uhnothanks."
But since I had nothing better to do, I watched what was left of it. Surprise: it was a lovely movie. Not good by any means, but enjoyable to watch. It's a know
n fact that I only like animated movies and those aimed at the six-to-ten-year-old crowd, so to enjoy a movie like this is a big step towards teenagerhood for me.
This completely random and completely hilarious dance number made me laugh for at least a year or two, and I begged we watch it again and again. (To which my sister had no complaints.) I don't know why I was so amused by this scene, but I was. However, I also find food falling in slow motion to be hilarious beyond words in any language, so I don't know if that counts for anything.
I also love this quote, even though I'm not usually into movie quotes so much.(-Nobody likes Ringo Starr.
-That's what I like about him.)
I can really identify with this. I like things that nobody likes, just because I think that somebody should.

4.
I am a vegetarian now. I decided this over the break. My mom and dad are none too happy about this decision, but they are dealing with it. Why? Because for one, meat is sort of disgusting, always has been for me. I saw pork shoulders at the grocery store the other day. Can you imagine a row of dead pigs, with either a machine or a butcher taking a huge blade and hacking out the shoulders, then shrink-wrapping it for sale? Ugh.
Not that I will judge you if you do eat meat.
But also because I have heard too many horror stories about animals being tortured in slaughterhouses. Animals are supposed to be living lives. Actual lives. I don't think any living thing should be in a cramped cage their entire lives under horrible conditions. And if enough people are vegetarians, the demand for meat will go down and less animals will be killed for meat.
Let me put it this way. Imagine thousands of dead cows being stripped out of their skins and being put through a machine that grinds them up and spits them out the other end, now as red squishy hamburger meat.
That's why.

(I could post some really awful pictures I've seen, but I won't to save your eyeballs from melting into their sockets. You're welcome)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Discover me

Bold the things you like, italic the ones you love but hate:
striped socks
winter vacation
minty breath
warm hands
sublime
proving people wrong
sketching
steel drums
the sims 2
kissing
backpacks
cloudy weather
picking out presents for people
kevin flamme
boys
old movies
reminiscing
mario party
orange juice
interesting people
late night texting
cool teachers
levi jeans
the city bus
cardigans
sneezing
drinking cold water
finding money in my pockets
making connections
books
bolding surveys
a clean bedroom
collages
meeting people
comfortable positions
headphones
marathons
packing to go somewhere
mascara
daydreaming
possibilities
ramen
notepads
burt's bees
babysitting
actually getting homework done
feeling good about myself
complimenting people
postsecret
confiding in people
themed things
t shirts
gentlemen
singing harmonies
being surprised
new clothes
target
long eyelashes
bright eyes
naps
nicely-dressed boys
barack obama
tweezed eyebrows
inside jokes
eye contact
acronyms
thinking
animals
collecting turtles
understanding
friendship bracelets
meaningful items
simon & garfunkel
silly pictures
raspberries
not going to school
startrek
reading blogs
showering away problems
worn-in shoes
paranormal television shows
facebook chat
baked ziti
visiting my elementary school
soft blankets
big words
staying up late
second chances
piggy back rides
saying words over and over until they sound really strange
surrealism
the feeling of relief after going pee
home vidoes
unusual names
diving boards
smiles
cats
feeling better
considerate people


Found this on Once Upon A Time.
Feel free to repost on your blog!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Flies and other little things



Completely unrelated photos^



How long has this "create post" window been sitting here patiently, waiting to be filled with words? Forever at least. Interestingly enough, I have nothing to say.
Scratch that. I have something to say. I hate flies. I think all the flies of the universe have had some worldwide conference thing, during which they decided it would be a wonderful idea to gang up on me. Whenever I enter a room, they all go, "OMG GUYS LOOK IT'S JENNY LET'S ALL ATTACK HER!!!" I think only I can see them, because when I wave my hands in the air in a feeble little attempt to swat them all away, I occasionally notice people glancing over at me. They're probably wondering if I'm having a mild seizure, though they have yet to dial 911. It's really annoying. Flies bug me. HA, HA, HA, HA. I am amazed at my own cleverness. Does anybody get it? Flies are bugs, and they bug me. "Bug" as in "annoy." Actually, more like irritate to the point of feeling an urge to stab somebody with a rusty pitchfork, but that's an elaboration that I really did not have to share with the world.
Anyway, *plunges hands through a thick swarm of flies to reach keyboard* it's kind of odd that I don't like flies, because I really like little things. The purple gems out of pomegranates are my favorite thing to eat, with snowflakes close behind. And my favorite bird is the chickadee, and my favorite flowers are those pretty pink cherry blossoms that grow on trees. My favorite animal is a mouse, the little little kind of mice that you can't see unless you're really looking. Flies are minute insects, so I should be fascinated with them.
Instead, their tiny size just makes them all the more frustrating. The smaller something is, the harder it is to swat.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Candy corn

So, new poll again. But this one doesn't really count for much, because I'm probably not even going to listen to whatever you-all think this blog needs. So far the only vote is for "try to be funny," and buddy, that is not going to happen. I am just not a funny gal.
I don't know, I read back to my eighth-grade posts just now. They were written by a much more energetic and humorous person. Maybe I used to be a funny gal, but people change. Maybe this used to be a good blog, but things change. I don't really mind if nobody reads this, anyway.
Check that. I do mind if somebody reads this. Getting comments on the posts and messages in the chatbox used to make my day. Now I rarely see a sign of life. Not motivating, folks.
Anyway, sorry for seeming so downtrodden yesterday. I was just really frustrated with myself about something. This is certain to be a happier post.

Last night I couldn't sleep. At all. I don't know why, because I'd been exhausted all day. And what do I do when I can't sleep?
WHY, MAKE A CANDY-CORN SMILE TO ATTACH TO A PAIR OF GLASSES, OF COURSE!
I had entirely too much fun with this thing. Even though the "candy-corn smile" did not end up looking like a smile at all.

And how on earth did I obtain giant candy corns in the middle of February, when all citizens of the United States of America are aware that candy corn is only readily available in October, and sometimes the end of September if the grocery stores are a little too eager that season? This is the secret:
On the way to Monterey, we stopped at the Gilroy Outlets, which is a bunch of stores, mostly women's apparel with names like Nine West and Ann Taylor, stuck side by side by side by side. My mother and grandmother spent hours browsing through racks of beige slacks and navy blue button-up sweaters, ribbed cotton tee shirts the color of pond scum and sold-color pencil skirts. It was loads of fun, let me tell you, being surrounded by such exciting variations in clothing.
What I think is that they should just take all the dull clothing from all the stores and make one giant warehouse out of it all. Each store literally sells the exact same thing as the one next to it.
But not the Jelly Belly store!!!!!!
That's where I got the candy corn. They were selling big sacks of it, three sacks for a quarter. Three sacks of stale mellocreme, just twenty-five cents. How could I resist?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Unspeaking things.

I always have so much to say, but the words are locked up in my heart and never find their way out of my mouth. They get stuck halfway up my throat, and I always swallow them back down. My voice is so flimsy and weak, it never says what I want it to. I still hope people understand what I'm trying to convey. They never do.(andrew hefter photography)

Maybe I'm the only one who talks in riddles and never says what I mean. Maybe I'm the only one who makes people decode their conversations with me to get inside my head, the only one who sees secrets in sentences that don't exist. Maybe that's why I often find myself all alone.
And nearly every time that I do say what is on my mind, it's never the right thing to say and I want to unspeak it. It's so easy to say what I feel like saying on my blog, but when I talk to people that matter, my mind whirs a million miles a minute while my lips freeze. Everything I need to say spills through a filter between my brain and my voice, and so little gets through.
Why is it so hard for me to speak?




Jenny, did it hurt to stick all that tape on your face in the first photo?

Yes. But one must make sacrifices for art.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I am a little starfish and I need the sea to thrive.

Reasons why I love Monterey:

This...

this,

and this,
this,THIIIISSS...
and especially this.

So. As you might have concluded, and I hope you did, or else you are terribly dim, I have returned from my short venture to Monterey. It was lovely, like it always is. Cold, windy, rocky beaches; that is so fully where I belong. If you can count on one thing to be unquestioningly wonderful, no matter what, why, how, when, or where, it is the sea. The moment I was released from the car, he greeted me with open arms and drew me in and didn't let go for hours.
My mom yelled for getting so soaking wet. The rest of them had gone shopping while I stayed on the beach, and she had expected me to just lounge on the shores for one hundred and eighty minutes while the sea was just sitting there waiting, calling, sending welcoming rays my way. And I couldn't waste time changing into a swimsuit, I only had as long as the shops could entertain them to enjoy the ocean. Who cares if my impatient-ness resulted in waterlogged jeans?
By-the-by, by "them" I mean my grandma, my mom,
my sister:

my cousin:
and my other cousin.
Plus me. Coincidentally, this is the only picture I have of myself, and I edited it up. Oh well.
There's a small beach right next to Cannery Row, where they were off to do their second period of shopping during the evening. My mom didn't want me to get all wet again, because we were going to eat dinner in a restaurant, so she didn't let me hang out there. Even after I promised to not even touch the water, to hold my breath so I wouldn't be able to smell the salty fishiness.
We both knew I would break any vow once I got the damp sand squishing between my toes.

Ugh. I want to go back already. I want to live there. I want to get married on Fisherman's Wharf. I want to die in a little sailboat in the choppy waters off the coast of Monterey. I want to go back there.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Shouting out loud.

It's shout-out day.
I am shouting out to you, and you, and yes, even you. You too, over there. Some of the names are in code, some are nicknames, others are plain and simple, but I'm not going to specify too much.
Are one of these shout-outs... to you? Maybe. Decode and decide.

Again, not all of the images are mine.


To KK,




To Shirley,
To those of you,


To the most obvious cryptic I know,



To my mother,


To myself,

To Amy,I'm sorry for having so many pictures and so little words lately. I just don't have anything much to say.
Also, I am leaving for Monterey TOMORROW, and let's hope I don't stumble through a post while drunk on sea air. Actually, my mother isn't bringing her laptop, so that's not going to happen. I'll post when I get back, maaaaybe, but remember, I'm not the most dependable blogger you know.



or am i?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

To be in love.

Stupid lovey-lovey images, in honor of Valentine's Day. Not all of them are mine, but I don't know who to credit.

I love the idea of being in love, even though I never have been.
I don't think I could fall in love with a person. People are too complicated.
I could fall in love with a pear tree or a blue jay, a square of silk, or a whistling wind. I have fallen in and out of love with the sun a hundred times. He and I, we don't have the healthiest relationship.
But that's another story.
The only people who love me are the ones who have to by laws of nature; my family. There are no geeky boyfriends, no crushes, no hugs and kisses, no 'dating,' no 'relationships,' and there never have been.
And that is just how it should be for me. Sometimes I think I want to delve into that element of life, but I don't. People are too volatile, I've seen too many reputations ruined and hearts broken because of what they call love. Those schoolroom couples don't seem genuine, not a true definition of what I call love.

I think if I go on, I am not going to make a lot of sense. (See first picture.)

On a less whimsical, more down-to-earth, solid-ground note, my family is thinking about taking a little overnight trip to Monterey. We have the entire week off for no particular reason, but free time is filling up fast with softball, movie dates and the like, a hefty school project, and now this possible mini-trip.
I am willing to throw aside that project for a couple days and cancel any plans; I am ecstatic to hear of maybe maybe maybe, a visit to my true love, the sea.
If I ever become beautiful I will give myself to its waters. If I live to be old, I will die on an empty shore. I really hope that this trip happens after all.
Because I really, really love the sea.

You can probably tell I'm in a strange and sprightly mood. I think I need to bottle up now, before I spill any more inky insanity from my mind through my fingertips.



I'm not usually like this, promise. Just let me be crazy for a minute.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Splitting a face in a wonderful place.

Or explode. I don't usually smile that big, you know.

Went on a perilous journey to a creek today. I was already in a good mood when I headed over there, so when I started thrashing through the shrubbery and splashing in the shallow inlets of the water, I felt so buoyant I almost floated away. Good thing I didn't, because it would have been a bummer to miss out on all the fun that ensued.
The creek is lovely, but there isn't much of a story to tell.
A story in pictures today.



Yes, I took pictures of myself, which I am sort of unaccustomed to doing. I was not feeling particularly attractive, but I was feeling particularly happy.
So I pointed a camera at myself...? I don't make sense, even to my own head.
I have TONS more pictures, but I'm saving them for later. I'll start future posts with a picture from the bazillion I took during my afternoon excursion. That way I won't ever run out of pictures to put at the top of posts, as I always fear I will.

Much love~