Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Final Chapter

Tomorrow is
the last day of school and then
school's gonna be over
and then
you know what's next?
SUMMER
and
EUROPE
and
BLISS
and oh my taquito I am going to explode from excitement. I never really get so-called "spring fever," but "summer fever"...? Oh yeah. And this year, I am ready for it more than I ever have been in my life. Today the rest of the eighth graders went to Great America to stand in lines and sizzle in the sun. Me and a bunch of other people who decided not to go sat in a classroom and watched a movie. It was fine-just-fine, except I didn't really know anybody except Matt and Mikaela, and I don't actually know Micaela really, and Matt ditched halfway through. I created a masterpiece-ful work of art as well. I was drawing a giraffe, but then I didn't have room for the neck so I had to draw the neck and the head sprouting from the bottom of the page while the body was at the top.Like so. I wrote "to be continued" next to the cut-off body so as to justify the head poking up from the bottom.
The next few hours of my life:
6:00 Walk to my mommy's classroom, shove wriggling kids into their Jack and the Beanstalk costumes, lug props into the cafeteria, arrange finger foods on a cafeteria table, and herd bumbling family members into the caf and get their butts onto the seats in front of the stage.
6:30 Sit back, relax, and watch adorable first-graders sing Jack and the Beanstalk songs off-key and mumble lines into microphones.
7:00 Clap for the talented performers, then subtly nudge people outside with the promise of delicious finger foods to shove into their faces.
7:05 Fold and pack the costumes, disassemble props, drag everything back to the classroom, hand out little bags of "magical" jelly beans to the performers while cracking mild Jack and the Beanstalk jokes. "Don't let your mom throw those out the window, now!" "Those are most certainly worth that cow you traded for them!" "Better make sure to not drop those, or a giant beanstalk will grow in your yard!" (Read the play or book or something if you don't understand the listed wisecracks. If you're familiar with the story they're real knee-slappers, lemme tell you that.)
7:30 Go home. Make dinner. Eat dinner. Sleep. (next day...)
8:05 Leave for school.
8:15-1:00 Last day of school, suckas. I'm bringing a camera to take pictures of people because all the cool kids bring a camera to take pictures of people.
Then it's pure freedom. I'll probably dance and smile in joyful lust for a while, then realize that I am very bored. I'll have six days until Europe. I hope I don't pee my pants waiting. That would be unpleasant.

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