Have you noticed that my blog entries are the best when I am talking about an actual experience, particularly one that was awful?
When I went to the Jelly Belly factory, a lovely experience, my post was boring and vacuous. When I drenched myself in icy rainwater, my post was colorful and witty. (Two random words that sound nice together, I’m not even really sure if that correctly describes the entry.) Maybe I’m one of those sees-the-glass-half-empty people. Or maybe the sensation of discomfort and misery sparks my creative spirit. (Again, two random words. “Creative spirit,” that has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?) Unfortunately nothing horrible has happened to me lately. Under normal circumstances that would be good news, but still.
Let’s talk about that, then. “But still.” After two people have had a good long argument, one of them usually comes up with something that puts a stop to the whole banter, a statement that proves their point to such an extent that no comeback from the other person could ever top it. Remember how the only answer to “What’s up?” is “Nothing much”? The only answer to an argument-ending statement is a pathetic “Yeah, but still.” Honestly, we humans are much too prideful to give up once on argument has been lost. We are too proud to simply say, “Okay, you win.” So we puff up our chests as much as we can after such an epic loss and instead say, “Yeah, but still.” That statement has no meaning. ‘But still?’ Those are two completely different words, and even when put together, they don’t really relate to each other, or make sense in a hey-that’s-a-sentence kind of way. “Yeah, but still,” are the three words we utter when we admit to ourselves that we have lost the argument, but still want to have the last say.
One person: “Avocados are a fruit.”
Other person: “No, they’re not. They’re a vegetable.”
One person: “Why do you say that? They have a pit. Vegetables don’t have pits.”
Other person: “Yeah, but avocados are green. Fruits aren’t green. And fruits don’t taste so plant-ish-y.”
One person: “Limes are green. Come on, we’ll look it up online. Look, see? Avocado.com says avocados are fruits.”
Other person: -pause- Yeah, but still.
Know what I’m saying?
Anyways, other stuff. I’ve stopped putting songs at the ends of my posts because it was pretty pointless, but here’s my new favorite song that I would like to share with the general public. It’s called Almost Lover, by a Fine Frenzy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk
Thoughts: Is my blog even any good anymore? Certain people have said it was funny, but I think I’m losing my touch. I’ve been thinking about getting a YouTube account. Scratch that, I got a YouTube account. Instead of writing stuff down here, I would point a camera at myself and say it, to hopefully boost the humor level. I actually made a video too, but when I tried to upload it it didn’t work. So that’s that, huh? Maybe I’ll figure out how to upload videos here or something.
Time for a completely irrelevant topic. I have lived my whole life so far without practicing any religion. I never really thought much of it. My dad used to be Christian, went to church any everything as a kid, but somewhere along the timeline of his life he dropped it. I don’t even know if my mom was ever religious. I never have been. I never felt like there was anything missing from my life. This is rare, but every once in a while somebody will ask me what religion I am. So when I answer, “I don’t have one,” they reply, “Oh,” quickly and then change the subject. It’s as if not having a religion is something to be ashamed of, and they assume that I don’t want to talk about it. Am I a sinner or something, for not thanking some sort of god for giving me life and all? Do I sound stupid to the religiously wise by asking that last question? I am so naive in that unfamiliar territory, if that’s even the right word. I guess I’m not too hot on literature, either.
It would be cool to be Christian. I would wear a cute little cross around my neck. Going to church always sounds so wholesome and soul-cleansing and everything. If I were Christian, I would probably take a yoga class. I’d read to young children in the library on Saturday mornings, to lure them away from the vortex that is Saturday morning cartoons. It would be weird, though, to be the only Christian in a family of non-religious people.
I guess this is a touchy subject. Or is it? I don’t even know. I’ll shut up and talk about something else now.
How about racism. We were supposed to be researching racism, prejudice, segregation, et cetera, in language arts class today. No, not history class. Language arts class. It all tied in with Anne Frank, which we have been studying. Germans, Jews, Holocaust, concentration camps, and so on. The young lad who sits next to be happens to be particularly immature, and instead of researching pulled up a page of racist jokes. He was thrilled, and announced his favorites to the entire class while cackling. Our dear teacher remained blissfully unaware. He was particularly fond of Jew jokes. “How do you start a Jewish marathon? Roll a penny down a hill! How was copper wire invented? Many years ago, two Jews found the same penny.” I don’t even get those. Jews and pennies do not equal LOL for me, but I’m glad. Had I understood the jokes, I might have laughed, and then I would have felt bad.
One last thing: I Obama-ized myself. Sheeyah. Check it out.