So, I did find a dress. My dad and I ran errands on Sunday, and we stopped at Ross: Dress For Less, and also that place next door called Starlet with the weird silver mannequins in the window. We went into Starlet first. I cringed when I saw that each and every hanger was bubble-gum pink rather than white like any NORMAL store, and got squeamish when I actually started looking at what was on those hangers. Lots of very bright colors. No lack of hot pink here. The nervous casheir approached me immediately. “Can I help you?” she quavered.
“Yeah, uh, I’m looking for, kind of a sundress?” I replied.
She nodded, “Um, yeah, okay, um...” She sifted through the racks and held out a few horrors in day-glo yellow, orange and lime green. This store had literally corralled all the ugliest garments that have ever existed into one pink-hanger-ridden place. I pawed through the racks, trying desperately to find just ONE thing to bring into the dressing room. She kind of hovered a few feet behind me as I searched. Finally, I pulled one off the rack. It was knee-length. It was green. I tried it on. I took it off. I put it back. I left the store.
I went to Ross next. I couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. Some people were probably getting fancy dresses shipped from boutiques in Paris, or at least purchasing them from high-end department stores like Nordstrom’s or Bloomingdale’s. Some people can at least do as good as Kohl’s or JC Penney. Not I, said the Jeni. My dress comes from a discount store! I found three. One was magenta and black. Too fancy, said I. One was yellow. Too yellow, said I. One had pretty roses on it and a pink ribbon around the waist. Perfect, said I. I paid fifteen dollars, skipped past the shoe stores because I already have a cute pair that matches, and laughed in my head at all the girls in Macy’s paying seventy dollars for their dresses.
Here are a few pictures. I love this dress.
Tiffany: if you’re reading this, yeah. This is it, and I know you hate it. Hush, child.
Other stuff: the panoramic photo! Is on Wednesday! So of course my hair is going to not cooperate that day! Of course it’ll be greasy at the roots and frizzy at the ends! Of course a fresh crop of big fat zits will tower from my forehead! Of course I’ll decide to wear that dumpy San Jose Sharks jacket! Pessimistic? You better believe it.
School pictures truly suck. I always look freakishly weird, like my eyes are half-closed or my smile is crooked or something. I have never taken a school photo that I approve of. This is the picture that people will remember me by. They will sift through the yearbook and see THAT picture and go, WOW, I didn’t realize she was that ugly, WOW, I hate her now, WOW, she’s a nerd. WOW.
Spring break is very near. My family and I are going to Arizona, y'all! That's where my cousins are from, I think. Possibly Texas. I dunno. Well, we're going to the Grand Canyon, you know, that big canyon? The grand one? We're going to hike down into that sucker and see what's there to see. Then we're going to get our kicks on Route 66, yee-haw! I'm going to stick my head out the skylight on the car and sing that Route 66 song. I will also buy a Route 66 T-shirt. Possibly a keychain, too. For some reason, I love the Route 66 sign. It's so, you know, cunning. I have it on my Twitter page, which reminds me, FOLLOW ME, TWEET TWEET! I don't really get Twitter. But I have one, so, alas, and all that.
This has been my post for today. I hope you all have enjoyed it, and I will now tap-dance off the stage so you can go do something more valuable with your time.