Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Abdominal Weakling

Today in P.E. we had to do fitness testing. You know, the ones that they send to the state and/or national P.E. gods so they can see just how fat and lazy American kids are getting? You know those ones? You know?
Yeah. Those ones.
We did curl-ups today. That means we laid on our backs with our knees bent and curled into a sitting position while a radio played a recording of a lifeless man with an iron throat chanting: "up... down... up... down..." over and over, into oblivion, whatever that is. They were easy to do. I thought I was doing pretty good until I felt somebody kick my foot. That's Mr. Mornhinweg's violent signal that we're screwing up. What the heck. I am acing these stupid curl-ups, thank you very much. One curl-up later, though, I suffer another kick. This is the signal for: you-suck-so-stop-doing-curl-ups-before-I-have-to-hurt-you-even-worse. Guess how many I managed to do with my chin pointed up and away from my chest? Four. And these are the numbers that are being sent to the bigwigs who measure weakness and laziness in the youth of the country. I just shamed thirteen-year-old girls across America. Sorry, guys. Good thing I'm not in the military. Later I will learn that what I was doing wrong was "tucking my chin," forbidden in the strict world of curl-ups. But for now, I am left to wallow in the shame of being a abdominal weakling and a curl-up failure. Sob. All around me, sturdier folk are curling their way into the twenties, some making it into the thirties. I did four.
I actually did some more a while ago. I laid down on the floor and did twenty freakin' curl-ups just to prove to myself that I could, but I'm sure my chin "tucked" or my fingers "lifted" or my feet "rose" or some other ridiculous minutiae.
On a different note, I GOT A THOUGHT HERE. Isn't there an Abdominal Snowman? Cuz hey, I know I'm not the one to talk, but how can a snowman be ab-y? And why don't they just call him the Muscular Snowman? Why single out his abs?
In other news, I have a new project in Social Studies. I need to write a biography of Dolley Madison. She was James Madison's wife. Dolley Madison was born on May 20th, 1768 in Greensboro, North Carolina. She died on July 12th, 1849, making her 61 at her time of death. That's all I've got so far.
As for my Spanish movie, it's coming along great, thanks for asking. Well, I haven't exactly started filming it yet, but I'm sure when I start it'll be great. Yeah. The script is done. I'm just waiting on my mom, who keeps forgetting to bring her camera home.
That's all for now, folks. I gotta hit the gym. Not.

(Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP469tsCp0I)

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