Ugg Thief On The Loose

There are freakin' lunatics among us, and we don't even know it.
It all started with Sydney ambling down the locker rows, asking if anybody had seen a pair of black Ugg boots. I didn't think much of it... she always seems to be advocating one thing or another. It was only when the light flipped rapidly on and off, the signal for all us girlies to scream "FREEZE!" at the top of our lungs, and then obey each other. Mrs. Murtha was lounging at the top of the locker room stairs and surveying us amusedly. She bellowed out, "Has anybody seen a pair of black shoes? They were stolen from in front of the mat room."
Somebody puts in, "Uggs!" It's Michelle. Later I'll learn that it is her whose shoes are missing. Mrs. Murtha nods and continues. "She removed them so as to protect the mat room floor, along with the rest of her classmates, however only hers got stolen. Hmmmm. The stealing had to be done this period, right? Hmmmmm." Is she blaming us?
Her eyes turn to slits and the corners of her mouth turn up in an evil manner. She pretends to be addressing the scary kid-wrangler who was called in from the office, but her next sentence is meant for us. "Do you think we should make them open their lockers? Maybe their backpacks, too?" A rousing cry of anger and annoyance rises. Mrs. Murtha instructs us to do so, and reluctantly, unwillingly, we obey. She and the childbeater take their time strolling through the rows, looking in each and every locker, poking their noses into each and every backpack.
(Thought: couldn't somebody just NOT OPEN their locker if they'd stolen the shoes? And go stand by somebody else's? It was all a big hubbub and I was nowhere near my own locker.)
The late bell rings. We shout in anger and despair. After a while, though, everybody realizes hey, guys, we're missing class! The excitement of the situation seeps through. After every locker and backpack has been checked, we're sent to class. R-dog somehow already knows the whole story and cuts me short when I try to explain. Huh.
The weird thing is, last year Ally's Uggs got stolen. Dat strange or what?

Watch out, folks. There's an Ugg thief on the loose.